Dear Parker

Dear Parker,

This week is one you will remember for the rest of your life.  The details will fade, along with the pain, but not matter what else you remember about being 8, you will always remember that you lost your Great Grandpa Don that year.

When Grandpa Jeff called to tell me about Grandpa Don last Thursday, I thought of Grandma and then you.  How would I be able to tell you about losing such an important person?  I dreaded it.  Grandpa Jeff and I waited to tell you after school once we could be in Dayton with the family.  Telling you this has been the hardest thing to do so far in parenting you.

You have been so strong and mature and caring and brave throughout the week.  I am so proud of you and you have impressed me so much.  When we discussed what would happen at the funeral and I told you that I would be speaking, you volunteered to share some words about Grandpa Don too.  When we asked if you would want to help be a pallbearer, you said yes without hesitation.  When we saw Grandpa at the viewing, you were scared at first, but you were able to say your good byes to him.  And you even asked if he has shoes on or if he was barefooted.  

The funeral service was hard and I don't think that you will ever be able to listen to organ music again because of it.  You helped me so much during the service.  You stood by my side while I spoke.  You held back your sobs so that I could hold back mine.  When I was finished, you took a deep breath and told everyone that you loved Grandpa Don.  You were brave to do that.  You were older beyond your years when you did that.  You were amazing.

The path of grief has just started.  You will forget that Grandpa is gone and then you'll remember and be very sad.  That is ok.  It will happen when you go to Dayton mostly and when you are with Grandpa Jeff.  You were very lucky to have Grandpa Don.  He loved you very much and was very proud of you.  When you were born, Grandma Phyllis and Grandpa Don put in an order to 10 more just like you because you were so perfect.  

Anytime you miss Grandpa Don, just let someone know.  We will help you remember him and it'll feel like he is right there with us.  I am so proud of you.  

Love,

Mommy