Dear Parker

Dear Parker,

I am sorry I haven't written to you in so long.  I have been going through a tough bit of parenting with you.  I would like to say that I know we will be on calm waters for a while, but I can not.  I kind of hope though, that you won't remember the waves we have had crashing us against each other and against rocks on the shores.

The water is still right now, and I am so happy that it is.  We have had a change in your sticker rewards and last week you really showed how well you can control yourself!  I know it is hard for you and I am working with your teachers to figure out why and how I can be a better mom for you......but you really showed your stuff!  And you even got invited to a friends out to play on Sunday!  It was after the Blue and Gold for Scouts and Nick asked you to come over.  I almost teared up when I saw how excited you were when I said yes.  You were shaking while taking off your uniform!  My heart filled with joy for you and it is a moment that you will probably forget, but I promise I never will.

Seeing your face when I got you from school was sunshine through today's gloom!  And then to find out that your reading score is double what it was at the beginning of the year!  Hot dog!  Haha!  I am so proud of you!  I am relishing in today.  When we both have good days away from each other, it makes our evenings so wonderful!

You have had a lot of up and downs over the past six months, I know that I haven't always been the best mom and that I have yelled too much sometimes.  I am sorry for that and will work on not yelling so quickly. You will probably not remember this struggle or the hard work that you show everyone, but we all see it and we all see you shine through even the bad times.  You are a strong little boy who is determined to be a good person......you will succeed.  But you will get beat by the waves against the rocks sometimes, don't forget though, you will recover, like you did this past week.  You will recover and stay on still water for sometime, but unfortunately, the waves will happen all over again.

It's a cycle just like what we have talked about recently when you don't get enough sleep at night.  The cycle starts a ball rolling down a hill and you have to figure out how many and which sticks to use to make that ball stop.......

I think I am getting carried away on the analogies for one letter kiddo!

I hear you being restless in your room, I do believe a kiss on the forehead will help with that.

Good night and I love you my sweet boy.

xoxo
Mom