Dear Parker

Dear Parker,

The end of summer in among us.  You start 1st grade on Tuesday with held back excitement.  I think you just realized that it is going to be a new year of learning which got you pumped, but like every child in the world, you are dreading it slightly.  And I completely understand why too!  You had a very busy and amazing summer.  You have been non stop with fun since Memorial Day weekend.  This has definitely been the busiest summer you have had.  You went to two different camps and I think 3 motorcycle races, a fishing trip with Grandpa and we finished the summer with a surprise trip to the Indy Zoo yesterday.  That is a lot to recover from and get into the mind set of school.  Honestly, I am not ready for you to be back in school yet either, it seems like I barely saw you all summer and now that the races are more scattered apart and camp is over, it feels like it is now our time. 

This summer has been busy and stressful.  You have done a lot of back and forth between here and Grandpa's, and I know that your behavior has been up and down because of the lack of consistency.  I thought about having you skip the last of July races to stay home until school starts, but I was in a catch 22.  You need the time with Grandpa because he is such a wonderful influence on your life.  I have told you before how important your relationship is with Grandpa.  You two are two peas in a pod when you are together and I know that he is one of you best buddies.  So I have been stuck as too how to approach you behavior issues this summer.  I started reading a parenting book, which is hard to do because it cuts into my pride.  I try very hard to be the best Mom that I can be for you but sometimes I don't know what to do.  You are growing so fast, learning so much and have so many influences outside of our home, that it is hard to determine if it is because of your development age, that you are so smart or because you see other kids act a way and try to do the same at home.  This book has taught me a lot so far.  I realize that I am not catching you doing things "right" and pointing it out to you enough.  It is called positive reinforcement.  It is easy for Mommy to see the times you aren't listening more that the times you are listening.  When you aren't it is so frustrating that it is hard to miss, but when you are, our days are absolutely flawless.  I am trying harder to point out the positive to you.  You deserve that because you deserve to know that I am always proud of you and you need to be proud of when you make the positive decisions.  We started a little journal for two reasons, one, you need to practice writing more before school starts (Mommy totally dropped the ball on that one!) and two, so that you can reflect upon the decisions you have made in a day and write down the one that you are proud of because you know that you made the right decision.  It is neat to see what you have written.  The more we do this and both work hard at making good decisions and pointing out those good decisions, pretty soon you will make more good one than bad ones. 

My favorite journal entry you did was a drawing instead of a sentence.  One morning I was very upset, and you showed how understanding and loving you are by making me breakfast.  I can out to the kitchen and there was a bowl of my favorite cereal with a note that said "I hope you feyl bettr"  I cried so hard because of how much you want to take care of me sometimes like I care for you.  You are such a loving boy that does so many things right that you need the same recognition that adults get when they are doing something right.  I promise you that I will work on this everyday so that we have better cooperation in our household.

You are such a special, wonderful little boy who is growing to be just a regular boy so quickly that I can't always catch up to you.  You always keep and open heart and mind about life that I cherish.  I see how much you have grown over the summer and wonder what kind of child you will be in 6 months; how much more will you know and share with me.

I think this is the longest letter I have written you.  It is a lot that you won't understand until you are older.

First grade is going to be great :)  You get to hang out with Yang Yang tomorrow and then it is school! 

I love you kiddo,
Mommy