Dear Parker

Dear Parker,

You are a young man now.  You tower over me and have stepped into having your own life more and more everyday.  You have new struggles but still some of the same ones you have always have.  You heart though, I think your heart has grown to be bigger and more caring the older you get.

I have ignored writing you letters for too long.  For a while, I was dealing with too much in my own life and had a lot of guilty feelings for what I was putting you through.  And then I got out of that situation and it felt like I didn't have anything to write to you.

You are a freshman.  At the end of third quarter this year, the COVID 19 pandemic made its way to Ohio.  In a day, you went from being a week away from Spring Break to learning online.  That transition was not easy for you and it still won't be when spring break is over.  On top of that, I was managing the transition at work for my team.  I should have been home with you.  I should have put your needs and stress first.  I am sorry I did not and you got so overwhelmed.  Moments like those make me feel like I don't always have my priorities in the right place and that I take for granted your maturity and ability to be on you own. You know I should take a tip from you about how to be on my own because I am not good at it.  I need to get better at it.  Unlike you, I never have been truly on my own.  I am the middle child.  I lived with roommates in college.  And then when I finally moved out completely on my own as an adult, I had you.  You will not always be here.  I am grateful to know that you will not have this struggle as an adult that I do, because it does come at a price. 

This pandemic will pass.  You will be able to go back to school one day.  You will be able to play volleyball again one day.  You will be able to spend valuable time with your friends again.  This is only a blip of time my love.  We will get through it.

I love you.  You make me proud everyday.

Mom