Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Dear Parker,

There are a couple things that happened this week that I wanted to write down and remember.

First, I actually got around to sewing on you new Pack numbers and other patches onto your tan scout uniform.  You have had the damned thing for a year now and I have been too lazy to sew on the patches!  And yes, I said damned.  Well, on Sunday, we had our laziest day in the history of lazy days and I actually got you Pack numbers AND your counsel patch on there!  (since Sunday I have added you Webelos patch - look at me go!)  For you Den meeting that night, you wore your tan uniform for the first time........I have to pause here because all of the emotion I felt as soon as you were all buttoned up and tucked in is rushing back to me.  Wow.  What a difference between your blue and tan uniform shirts.  Along with your hair cut from the day prior, I wasn't looking at my 10 year old but instead at my young man.  You looked so good.  And older, and wiser, and more mature, and respectful, and proud.  Boy Scouts is literally around the corner.  You are about 4 requirements from finishing your Arrow of Light.  I cannot believe Cub Scouts is almost at a close in your life.  How quickly the 5 years has passed and how exciting the scouting adventure has been!  You are about 5 years away from you goal of making Eagle Scout (5 years of hard and dedicated work).  It was funny, we were flipping through your Webelos book and I reminded you that once you bridge, I will not be the one reminding you to complete your requirements but I will help you get organized.  To which you replied, "Oh thank goodness!  And really?! You are going to help me be organized?" said with a slight eye roll.  Yes, yes, yes, I are very organized. *deep sigh*

Second, Monday night at bed time you got mad.  You thought it was Sunday (you had a 4 day weekend) and when the bubble of Monday was burst, you let it get the best of you for a bit.  You were sent upstairs earlier than usual to get a jump on your bedtime routine and because of your over reaction to the news of Monday.  At one point you came downstairs and hugged me from behind while I was washing dishes.  I looked at you and asked what was wrong, your eyes were red and it was obvious you had been crying.  You thought I was mad at you, backed away, and went back upstairs.  Later, I came up.  You were still upset.  Without prompting or asking you turned to me (you were facing your Star poster from daycare) and said, "Mom, (or Mommy-I can't remember now), I'm sorry I got so mad earlier.  I was mad and then looking at all my pictures, I realized how much you have always done for me during my life.  How much you have always given me.  I'm sorry I was mad and I love you."  Rip my heart out and fill my eyes with tears.

My darling boy, you have no idea how perceptive and wise you are for your age.  I know I have told you but I know you will never understand completely what I mean.  You are able to see outside your own perspective.  Some people never learn or care to learn about a world outside their own.  Some people will read books on shifting their paradigm and go to seminars to learn how to complete that shift.  You are able to already.  I don't know you are aware that you are doing it and I hope that I embrace you openness to only be better at it.  Hold on that part of your self.  Hold on to it forever.  It will help you understand the person sitting next to you better or the person you meet at the market or on the bus or at school or when you travel to Chile to see the largest waterfall in the world.  You won't always look outside your perspective because it is just as important to know how and where you view the world from, but always practice setting yours aside and picking up someone else's.

I love you even though I do believe we have over exhausted "family" time this week (home all weekend, off on Monday, and snow day to day),

You amaze me regularly.  Never stop being who you are.


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